With my first semester as a college student just recently starting, I’ve said many goodbyes to my dear friends that are leaving me for school. I have never liked saying goodbye because it’s a very hard thing for me to do. To look at someone that I love and know that I won’t see them again in a while. To know that I won’t be able to eat lunch with them at our favorite taco restaurant, or make last minute plans to just hang out and take walks in the sunset.
Sometimes it’s better to say goodbye and run. Run away from the tears that are hiding behind the folds of my eyes, run from the hug that will make leaving seem like eternity. It’s letting time start ticking earlier so that a reunion can be made sooner. Or so that you can heal from what that person has left on your heart; bruises, confusion, love, pain.. Maybe never seeing them again is best sometimes.
Saying goodbye means a new beginning, always. Even if it’s only saying bye to one person. If they are important, your life will never be quite the same than when they were in it, and will force you to live differently and make changes. The transition will be hard, no matter what.
Like I have previously mentioned, change is my biggest adversary. All these goodbyes mean I won’t have friends around, I will be in a new school, I will be scared and nervous and anxious that I won’t know what I’m doing. Change makes me think of the worst case scenario.
Why do I have to live in a world where people leave? That is a worst case scenario, but it’s true. Leaving because they found someone else, because of school, because they don’t want to change or don’t love enough. People leave and sometimes don’t come back the same or they just don’t come back at all.
Sometimes they do come back, and I choose to keep my goodbye prolonged and prominent. It’s better to say goodbye once if its that painful to do it again to someone who makes you feel like you are numb with bruises, or sad because they have changed too much that they don’t even seem like the same person they once were.
Saying hello is letting someone back in. I want that in the people that have stayed true to who they are and that love me no matter what. It’s still hard, but with the people you know you can trust with your most vulnerable greetings, tears and smiles, are the ones worth letting back in.
It’s okay to let people go, especially around a time where life is changing fast for everyone.
People come and go, and that is something that I have learned since I was very young. I know the pain of being betrayed, forgotten, ignored, unwanted.. The people that cause this pain leave, and new ones always take their places.
Life goes on even after a good or bad goodbye.